I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
