but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
NoShamevember. You game?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
