Non-Jews are for practice
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
