coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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