Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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