you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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