just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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