Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
