It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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