I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
