You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
