the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
