what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
