Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
