If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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