dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
