What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
