Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
