Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
