Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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