i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
