I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
