i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize