i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
