i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
