Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
