I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
