in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
