I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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