so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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