had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
