After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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