She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
