good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
