wat bout pragnant strippers??
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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