Don't make out with my wife yet
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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