did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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