My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
