I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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