I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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