It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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