I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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