Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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