I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
