You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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