Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
