My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
