I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize