Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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