you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
