who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
