arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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