you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize