Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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