Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
