Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is my gift to your gina
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
